1. You would have known every single calorie that I ate on any given day and exactly how many minutes I spent exercising and how many diet pills I had taken that day.
2. I'm pretty sure there would have been a little bit of DB going on. I would have embarrassed my family with tipsy posts every weekend and too many Miller Light bottles in my pictures.
3. You would be extremely annoyed with me because I had absolutely nothing to complain about, but I thought I had EVERYTHING to complain about.
4. You would hear too many sob stories about how I lost my car. Lost my keys. Lost my purse. Lost my wallet. Lost my credit card. Lost my drivers license. Got locked out of my apartment. Lost my money. Lost my checkbook. Lost my cell phone.
5. For most of my twenties my hair was bleached blonde. Enough said. No one wants to look at that.
6. My BFF and I lived in our own little drama filled world. We were busy obsessing over boyfriends, weight loss, boyfriends, boyfriends, parties, boyfriends. No one would've really cared.
7. There would have been no posts on playdates or potty training and I'm pretty sure I would have shared WAY too many recipe creations using Ramen noodles. Thank God.
8. You would've had to meet my alter personalities Helen and Skank Dawg. That would not have been good. That's all I'm saying about that.
9. My fashion advice would have been heavily influenced by leather pants and burgundy lipstick.
10. Everyday was a crisis.
I cannot believe I survived.